Hmmm, it seems that I took a bit of an inadvertent hiatus here. That’s what happens when you wake up in the middle of the night with a feverish little Bear and no one to soothe him but yourself for the next 4 days. Of course, by the fourth day I had my own fever and aches and swollen throat. It’s this sort of thing that makes military life difficult. The day to day aspect of playing single parent aren’t so bad (and to those of you who are full-time single parents…man, you guys are great. I don’t know how you do it.), you fall into a routine easy enough and the life goes on, though always slower than you would like. Then, a little disaster like fever weekend strikes and it sends the whole thing off balance.
It’s not secret that deployments are tough, tough for the person having to go on them and tough for the people who endure them back home. In a little less than two years of marriage DB and I have gone through 3 big ones and 2 small ones. It adds up to well over a year apart, and it sucks. It sucks to have to say goodbye, and it sucks to sleep by yourself, and to keep the house up, and to never have a break. It also sucks when the Bear learns something new or does something hilarious and I have to pray that he’ll be willing to do it again on camera or Skype. It’s total crap that we can’t share in those moments. It gets harder every deployment.
I got this tattoo a few months after I got out of bootcamp as a reminder to keep going no matter how tough things got. I got it before DB and I got together, and I’m glad I have it now. It’s a simple reminder, but I need it. Our life is always changing, just when we feel settled everything goes back into flux, but we hold fast to each other and the Bear, the things that matter, and we make it through fine.